There are so many venues for meeting singles in the city. There are dances, single's hiking or walking groups, speed dating, pub nights, single's volleyball, slow-pitch and on and on. I can give you specific ideas (not only speed dating) if you email or call me using the info at the bottom of this article.

Don't go to a single's event with a friend. I cannot stress this enough. Be brave. One of the biggest complaints I hear from men is that the women at some single's event were huddled together, making them unapproachable.

Here are some tips on what to do when you go by yourself:

Keep telling yourself you can do this. Tell yourself that you are beautiful and confident. Take a deep breath and walk into the room with confidence. People will notice and be drawn to this.

Dress for different temperatures. It might be cool when you first arrive, so wear something pretty that can easily be removed when things warm up. Wearing an outdoor coat is like wearing armour.

Get a drink. It doesn't have to be alcoholic, and often, it's better if it's not. Having a drink in your hand gives you something to do while observing. A drink gives you something to do if there's a short lull in the conversation. Having a drink reassures the group that you are participating along with them. You aren't setting yourself apart.

Introduce yourself to some men. Consider that other people are shy and someone has to make the first move. Get over thinking that it should always be the man who initiates.

Back off from expectations of meeting someone special that night. Decide you're just going to be friendly, do something different and have fun with it. If you meet someone special, consider it a bonus, but don't go looking for it.

Finally, formulate some ideas of what you might ask others when there is a lull in the conversation. It's best not to ask, "Do you come to these things often?" This sort of question is loaded. Ask things of a more specific nature to that person. What do they like to do when they're not working? Have they travelled? Just don't interrogate. Remember good conversation is give and take.

I suspect that you would probably like him to be tall, handsome, a good conversationalist, well educated, a good lover, great in the romance department, focused on you but also independent when required, kind, thoughtful, well grounded, never lose his temper, a good listener and provider of emotional support when needed. And it would be great if he drove a nice car….

Sometimes I wonder how people ever get together. So many people have lists of "qualifications" for a potential mate.

The best advice I can give is: Open yourself up to possibilities. Throw away your list of qualifications. Date, date, date. Date lots of people. Date people you have never pictured yourself dating. You will be amazed at the opportunities that will open up for you. Chances are you will change the habitual pattern most of us develop - ending up with the same kind of man each time.

Focus more on what you are bringing to the table. The happier and more self-confident you are, the more attractive you will be to people. If you want a lot from someone else, you have to have a lot to offer.

It would be beneficial to lose the "I want a man who can accept me just as I am" attitude. There isn't one of us who is perfect and doesn't have something we could improve, not just to land a man but to enrich our lives by becoming better people. Deep down, we know what is attractive about ourselves and what could use some improvement. One of the most difficult things to do is to face up to our shortcomings and doing the work that is required to resolve them.

If you do the work required to make yourself into the best person you can be, I guarantee that the world will truly be your oyster (and you won't need a sword to open it).

Let's start with what not to talk about. Don't talk about your ex. Your dinner date may seem sympathetic and attentive but soon they will be wondering how they can end this gracefully.

Tell them you have children but don't go on and on about them. There's plenty of time for that.

Don't talk about 'what you're looking for' in a partner. This is a minefield on the first date. If you're asked directly, just say something like, "great relationships start with two people becoming good friends, getting to know each other, doing things together and going from there."

Don't talk about sex. I cannot stress this enough. It just isn't a good idea on the first date. Don't get ahead of yourself.

Don't, under any circumstances, talk about what you see the two of you doing 'next Christmas' (especially if your first date is in July!). Even if the person really liked you, you have just scared them and I can guarantee, there won't be a second date, let alone any chestnut roasting.

Don't dominate the conversation. It is about give and take. If you are female, try to draw the male into opening up a little. This is a skill that takes some finesse. Don't interrogate. Gently ask him questions about himself. Don't interrupt. Nerves may make you want to chatter away, but don't. It is a turn-off. If you are male, try not to just sit there like a bump on a log. Open up a little. You don't want the woman to go home realizing that, after spending two hours with you, she doesn't know anything more about you than she did before the date started.

Don't be too judgmental. Sometimes we say stupid things on a first date out of nerves and our desire to impress. Wait until the second or third date to see if you misjudged the situation.

What to talk about: keep the conversation on a light note. Talk about what you like to do when you're not working. For example, ask if the other person likes to travel. If you find that you both have been to the same country, ask them their perspective on traveling there. This will give you some great insight into how the two of you might see the world through different eyes. In short, try to keep things fun. Hopefully the other person will do likewise.

First, make a decision that you want to meet someone. Commit to that. Now you've a got a goal in mind.

Secondly, think about good character - not the residue of character, because that can be faked. Character is how a person thinks of life in general, how they think of their life and of all the people around them. You're really looking for someone who is honest, someone you can trust and someone who is sincere. Good looks and a sense of humour might be charming at first, but after awhile, if the person only possesses these residual characteristics and not the good qualities of character, you will end up becoming confused and hurt.

Thirdly, set out to meet people on that basis, and at the same time, work on yourself. If you have your act together, you will naturally shine and become more attractive.

There's a fine balance in dating. Keep things in perspective. Until you get to know someone, you don't know whether you really want to be with him or not. Hold back and if you're sincere, give someone else the chance to be sincere. Men like the chase. Give in too quickly and they might turn tail and run, figuring that you're willing to be with anyone, just so you're not alone. That doesn't mean that you don't return his calls. (That's just plain rude!) But it does mean that you don't sit by the phone waiting for him to call. You want him to think that you have a life (even if you don't think you do!).

Remember: You have to be independent before you can be interdependent. Otherwise, you're just dependent. A place no one wants to be.